I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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