Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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