Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize