Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Randomize
Follow @tfln