I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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