I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize