I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This couple is walking their pig around campus
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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