I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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