it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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