It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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