You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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