I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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