new low.... made out with someone while peeing
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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