Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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