My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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