My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This house was built for laser tag.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize