My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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