Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
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I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
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You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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