I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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