Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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