Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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