Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize