When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
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Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
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I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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