I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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