I love black thongs
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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