I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
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I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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