I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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