i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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