i think my mom watched the whole time
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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