i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
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She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
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Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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