so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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