Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize