she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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