I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Someone signed my nipple.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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