I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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