She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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