OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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