you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
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I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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