Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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