I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
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woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
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But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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