it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize