Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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