I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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