That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i think my cat just said my name.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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