What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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