Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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