Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize