before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize