remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
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can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
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It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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