no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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